I was asked this question recently and thought that it would be profitable to include the discussion in our blog. "Does God forgive us when we don't confess our sin? Like if we never admitted we sinned, does he forgive us for that by his grace?" Whenever the answer doesn't seem screamingly clear to me, I just start by reinforcing biblical truths that I know are in place first, and then view the question in my fresh understanding of those other concrete truths. For instance...
1. Forgiven are those who fear the LORD
Psalm 103:11–13 says, "For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him; 12 as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us. 13 As a father shows compassion to his children, so the LORD shows compassion to those who fear him."
One would not know where to start when trying to measure the distance "the east is from the west." This shows the extent and effectiveness of His perfect forgiveness. Do you think about this truth when you feel guilt from things you have done in your past? Do you think on this truth when you slightly fall back into past sins that you once felt such immense guilt about? Do you think on this truth when you are caught up in sin from day to day?
Note: There is no sign of taking advantage of God's gracious and complete forgiveness here, as if we can just walk up to this truth and say, "I have sinned. You say you will forgive me entirely. So I will go on living like I always have because you never count it against me." NO! "The LORD is great in his steadfast love and shows compassion to those who fear him."
Too often we don't walk in the fear of the LORD. We must recognize that if it weren't for the compassionate mercy and gracious forgiveness of the LORD, then we would stand condemned for the whole of our lives AND into the next, experiencing the totality and severity of God righteous and indignant wrath for sinful rebellion against Him. And turning away from Him and choosing a life of sinfulness should cause us to tremble in fear.
Romans 6:1, 2 (along with Galatians 5:13; 1 Peter 2:16; Jude 7) say, "What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin that grace may abound? 2 By no means! How can we who died to sin still live in it?" Let us not "pervert the grace of God," but "walk in newness of life," "using our freedom to serve God and man."
2. Blessed are the forgiven by the LORD
Psalm 32:1–2 says, "Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgive, whose sin is covered. 2 Blessed is the man against whom the LORD counts no iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no deceit".
Not knowing if you are forgiven for sins is no way to live. Trying to conceal your sin, covering it up and justifying your sinful thoughts or actions is really a decaying process for your soul--"For when I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was dried up as by the heat of the summer. I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not cover my iniquity; I said, 'I will confess my transgressions to the LORD,' and you forgave the iniquity of my sin" (32:3–5).
If you know that you've sinned and you feel guilty because you've broken God's holy standard, then you only have two choices--try to cover it up yourself or be covered by God. David here is expressing the anguish and turmoil of what it is like to attempt to cover it up himself. This is no way to live! It only leads to death (2 Cor 7:10).
So David's advice is "Let everyone who is godly offer prayer to You at a time when You may be found...You are a hiding place for me; You preserve me from trouble; You surround me with shouts of deliverance" (Ps 32:6–7).
Because let's be honest, "Many are the sorrows of the wicked, but steadfast love surrounds the one who trusts in the LORD. Be glad in the LORD, and rejoice, O righteous, and shout for joy, all you upright in heart" (32:10–11)! THIS is the way to live--to be covered by the steadfast love of the LORD. Trust Him, seek His forgiveness for all the sin He is making known to you, and rejoice for you know you are clean!
3. Sanctified are those who are holy in the LORD
When talking about forgiveness in the life of a believer, we are really talking about the process of becoming more holy--sanctified. Putting off that which is in accordance to our old nature and putting on that which pertains to our new nature in Christ Jesus (Col 3:1–17; Eph 4:17–32; Rom 6; 1 Thes 4:3–8). The key doctrines of our faith are often referred to as "Doctrines of Grace," namely Justification, Sanctification, and Glorification in the life of every believer. It is very important in getting each of these understood biblically so that you don't get mixed up and confuse them with each other. And with a healthy understanding of the doctrines of grace, you will be able to understand best what God is doing in the life of one who has been called His child.
By God's grace you are positionally forgiven (justification) for all of your sins--past, present and future (John 1:29). But progressively (in sanctification) you are called to ask forgiveness for your sins as you see them and ask the LORD to search them out. For instance: "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:9). That is a conditional clause. Meaning that if we confess, He will forgive. And if we don't confess our sin, then why should He forgive us? And Psalms 139:23, 24, "Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! 24 And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!" So it is our responsibility as holy and beloved children of God (He adopted us) to make it a habit of seeking forgiveness and confessing sin.
However, this DOES NOT mean that you are any less saved or forgiven positionally if you don't ask forgiveness for your sins (in progressive holiness) here or there. If you make a habit of not confessing sin, or just confessing it because those around you are, or because you were just told to from a young age, then it may evidence that salvation was not genuine in the first place.
BUT what it MAY mean is that if you are aware of sin in your life and you DO NOT ask for forgiveness, then you surely will not be as close to God as you could and as He desires. Why do we not feel as close to God as we ought? Because of our disobedience--our choosing of the power and presence of sin rather than the power and presence of the Holy Spirit. For example, if I continually did contrary to my wife's desires, then of course we would not feel close to one another. We are still in a relationship until the Lord ends it, but within the context of our relationship we could be closer if I did as she pleased and vice-a-versa. Though you are covered by His perfect and efficacious grace, He still longs for you to repent of your sin until you no longer sin (perfect holiness and communion with Him in heaven--Yea!). "You shall be holy, for I am holy," (1 Pet 1:16) must be taken to mean our progressive holiness, being made more and more into the likeness of Christ (Rom 8:29).
AND actually, because He has forgiven you perfectly and hidden you in Christ's clean and perfect righteousness that can NEVER be taken away, this is to be a MOTIVATION for you to want to seek forgiveness for the sins that you see pop up in your life on a regular basis. The less you appreciate and believe what He has accomplished for you at the cross, the less you will strive to become holy like He is.
No, we will never know the full extent of our sins. But we are sure that whatever they total in number and in grievousness to God, He has forgiven us of them all. So because of this, may we walk in obedience and seek closeness to our loving, forgiving Father Who cannot dwell with darkness (You gotta read 2 Cor 6:14–7:1!).
For an example, the "Puritans"--a group of believers alive during the early establishment of the church in America--were radically committed to integrating the doctrines of grace into real life. If you read their prayers that have been recorded in works like Valley of Vision or other Puritan works and biographies, they would often pray that they would be forgiven of the entirety of their sin, especially the sin they were not even yet aware of. They knew that God's holiness so far exceeded their own to where it made them broken about the fact that they still had the residual effects of sin in their fleshly bodies.
So to return to the question: "Does God forgive us when we don't confess our sin? Like if we never admitted we sinned, does he forgive us for that by his grace?"
I would say that the simple answer is this--Yes and No:). He DOES forgive us of all our sin in a general sense no matter what we have done (He doesn't hold anything against His children as if they were still children of wrath). BUT He DOESN'T forgive us until we've confessed specifically to our wrong doing. If we are born-again and don't know or care about how our sin offends God, then that would seem like we aren't repentant of it and that we aren't turning to the Lord in closer communion with Him and obedience to Him. So just because He has forgiven us all our sin (even the sin of not confessing our sin!), this doesn't give us an excuse or pass to overlook past or present sins and not deal with them according to God's Word.
So confess your sin as soon as He makes you are aware of it (no matter how long ago it was). Confess to the LORD also that you are prone to wander and feeble and frail (sinning and falling short of His glory every day in many and different ways). And fear the LORD knowing that out of His steadfast love and faithful kindness He forgives us of all our sins. This should align our will with His and restore us to close communion with Him.
